It's a phenomenon I've documented extensively: put on a horror movie, wait for the tension to build, and precisely at the moment of maximum suspense—BARK! My spiders seemingly cannot resist providing their own sound effects during jump scares.
Last night I decided to conduct a highly scientific* study to get to the bottom of this behavior. Armed with a stopwatch, a decibel meter app on my phone, and a bowl of popcorn, I settled in for a marathon of classic horror films with all five spiders arranged in their terrariums around the TV.
* Not actually scientific in any way, shape, or form.
The Experimental Setup
I selected three films with varying levels of jump scares and tension:
- "The Silence of the Lambs" (psychological thriller with moderate jump scares)
- "The Conjuring" (supernatural horror with frequent jump scares)
- "It Follows" (slow-burn horror with sustained tension)
Each spider was positioned with a clear view of the screen (do spiders even watch movies? Who knows, but I wasn't taking any chances). I documented each bark, the scene that triggered it, and which spider was responsible.
🔊 Listen to Winston's Reaction to the Basement Scene in "The Silence of the Lambs"
The Results
After six hours of viewing (with appropriate snack breaks), my findings were undeniable:
| Spider | Total Barks | Jump Scare Correlation | Notable Observations |
|---|---|---|---|
| Winston | 17 | 85% | Particularly vocal during chase scenes |
| Eleanor | 9 | 67% | Preferred psychological horror over jump scares |
| Bert | 12 | 92% | Always barked in tandem with Ernie |
| Ernie | 12 | 92% | Always barked in tandem with Bert |
| Luna | 4 | 25% | Slept through most of the experiment |
Conclusions
Based on this rigorous research, I've developed several theories:
- Sympathetic Startling: The spiders are reacting to my own startled movements during jump scares.
- Sound Sensitivity: The sudden increase in volume during scary scenes triggers their acoustic response.
- Comedic Timing: They're deliberately trolling me because spiders have an advanced sense of humor we've yet to fully appreciate.
- Attention Seeking: They're jealous I'm paying more attention to fictional monsters than to them.
The most likely explanation? A combination of all of the above, with a heavy emphasis on #3. These little pranksters know exactly what they're doing.